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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25867216">the love lasts so long.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_whirl44/pseuds/j_whirl44'>j_whirl44</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, brief mention of background Kiko/Azu bc i am nothing if not me, cel talking their past partners, did not write this to be shippy but also i didn't....not do that, pls......i just want to hold cel's hand, so i had zolf do it, zolf is a very good listener</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:02:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25867216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_whirl44/pseuds/j_whirl44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ve been married five times,” Cel blurts out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom &amp; Zolf Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the love lasts so long.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Mister Smi-er Z-Zolf,” Cel’s voice booms through the kitchen and Zolf looks up from his station. He’s cleaning up from dinner as he always does and he gives Cel an awkward smile, not quite sure what they’re doing here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They slam a bottom of rum on the counter and slide it to Zolf lazily. It almost tips over and smashes to the ground but he’s quick to grab it. Cel giggles. Zolf relaxes a bit and shrugs as he takes a sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what’s the occasion for this?” he asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not dead yet?” they offer up. Zolf raises up an eyebrow. Cel lowers their shoulders, “We found Carter’s on board stash and well... you know here we are! There really is a reason we keep him around don’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess so,” Zolf grumbles as he takes another sip of the rum. It burns his throat instantly and muddies up his head. He coughs in surprise, then looks at Cel and continues to drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sort of stumble together over to the lounge where they find everyone else, save Siggif, Fredrich, and Wilde. The room explodes in cheers when the two arrive and Cel opens up their arms as if to accept the cheers while Zolf just kind of sulks and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He gives a harsh grunt and a short nod in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s about five conversations going on at once as there’s an abundance of alcohol right in the middle of it all. Barnes and Carter eventually get into an argument at who’s better poker. This prompts Kiko and Azu to share a look as Kiko takes a deck of cards out of her pocket and the rest is history. Carter quickly loses all of his money and Barnes and Kiko get locked in a battle that has the whole room on edge. Kiko wins and Barnes demands a rematch. The cycle continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zolf notices that Cel’s off in their own corner now and in all his years as a sailor he’s honestly never been much of a poker player so he leaves the rest of them to it and goes to join them. Cel sees him approach and scoots over immediately to make space. Zolf smiles and nods as sloppily sits down next to them. The two drink in a comfortable silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zolf watches the others and takes in all of them still laughing away. Kiko leans into Azu and he can’t help but look at them. He doesn’t mean it in any weird way, and he’s not dumb. Their relationship was nothing new at this point, it’s more that Zolf was never the one to outwardly show that sort of stuff and no matter how hard he tried it always threw him a bit to see others so open and carefree about their romantic endeavors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel looks back and forth between him and his sightline and giggles, “I’m happy for them. Some may find it silly but in times like these it’s important to keep those sort of connections to people. I think it keeps you human,” they say, that last sentence was more muttered under their breath but Zolf picked it up. They take another swig of the whisky they’re holding and when they’re done they let out a big sigh, “I’ve been married five times,” Cel blurts out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zolf doesn’t react right away but his breath does catch in his throat for a second. It makes sense given their age, but Zolf also admits Cel didn’t seem like the type to get involved with that sort of thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He must’ve finally made a face because Cel looks at him and gives a belly laugh that catches the attention of the others, they ignore them, “Yeah yeah I know it’s been a...long time since the last one. About...about ten years maybe?” they say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Zolf asks quickly. It’s not his best bedside manner,  but even when he’s not tired and tipsy it’s still pretty bad, at least he has an excuse at the moment. His brain catches up with him and he lifts his hands up in apology, “Oh i’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked that. It’s-your not...it’s not my business,” he stutters out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel’s looking at him with a shy smile on their face and a blush high on their cheeks. He’s embarrassed even more now but Cel scoots a bit closer to him and puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No no it’s okay Zolf, Mister Smith, I just uh...didn’t feel the need to again I guess? After the last one. And then my life got a bit too complicated for that sort of...connection? I-I found different work and I-I never really stayed in one place long enough before I got to Japan and then when I finally felt settled enough the world started ending? It’s all so very complicated I guess,” they explain. They’re using their hands to talk as they so often do and he’s had to dodge out of the way sometimes but he’s listening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel has a hard and almost sad look on their face as they go quiet and Zolf doesn’t really know what to say. They sit in silence together, both their hands sit nursing their respective alcohols on the table in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First one was when I was,” they let out a sigh as they get lost in thought, “twenty I think?” they take a moment to smile, it’s big and makes the side of their eyes crinkle, “he was a nice boy from the village where I had my very first apprenticeship with a renowned alchemist. I remember he worked at the shop across the street and he’d see me up late at night and drop sweets at the door,” they explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zolf’s lost in the story but he feels almost unworthy to know this, “Cel you-you don’t have to talk-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay Zolf I...I think I should you know? Helps me remember…” they say. Zolf doesn’t respond verbally but he reaches out his hand and places it on their wrist. They look at it and smile. “He was very kind to me. He was never interested in sciencey stuff but he was handsome and listened to me go on and on about everything,” they continue talking. Zolf sees how their eyes drift off as they get lost in the memories of what he can only guess is a time long ago. “When I was sent on different jobs he’d come with me sometimes and we’d camp out and look at the stars together at night. We were both just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>young</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it was hard when…” Cel stops. Their face hardens quickly and he can visibly see them swallow. “I don’t know what happened to him,” they whisper so low. Zolf stiffens a little and gives their wrist a squeeze. Cel gives a watery smile at him.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They take the hand not held by Zolf and gulp down more whisky, “I left on a trip. It...took me longer than I was anticipating and when I came back he was just gone. There wasn't a note. All his stuff was still there. The looks of pity I got from the village didn’t help and no one gave me any real clear answers where he went so I packed up that night and just...left on my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stays silent, unsure of what to say. He strokes his thumb on their wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The next one,” they laugh, their mood picks up quickly. Zolf smiles, “They were a firecracker of a halfling. A real fighter Like actually, that was their job,” they say, they’re beaming now. They sit up a bit as they stare off in front of them, “was about twenty seven now I-I think. Still in the Americas, was about to leave actually but they caught my eye. The wild magic there altered them in such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fascinating </span>
  </em>
  <span>way I insisted I study them and...one thing led to another I guess. We were married in two weeks time,” they say. Zolf gives a surprised grunt and raises his eyebrows. Cel laughs and shrugs, “I had done more rash things at that point in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that I believe,” Zolf teases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel rolls their eyes playfully and gives him a shove, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>anyways </span>
  </em>
  <span>it was a good time. They were good to me. We had fun. It was almost our five year anniversary when...a fight went wrong. There were complications trying to heal their wounds. An instance where wild magic gets tricky. It was a dangerous business I guess. Never really cared much for fighting after that,” they explain. They’re not as sad as they were telling the first story but there’s still a look of distant pain in their eyes and Zolf moves his hand from their wrist and links their fingers together. Cel hesitates for a moment but squeezes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zolf’s never usually this touchy but he’s tired and it’s late and</span>
  <em>
    <span> it’s Cel </span>
  </em>
  <span>so he’s making an exception. He looks to see that the others are packing up and going their separate ways. The two of them stay seated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Marriages three and four were pretty insignificant,” they laugh, “I mean they were fine but I guess there’s also a reason why they didn’t last you know? Differences too big to fix. I was too consumed in my work by then. People drift apart, you know? There wasn’t much harm done. After that I kinda...kinda just didn’t tie myself down. I had relationships but nothing that serious. My work was heating up and I just...lost myself to that. Saw the world getting worse and went to help where I could. Tried to help everyone…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s silent again as Cel trails off. Their face is twisted with so many emotions that Zolf recognizes in himself; sadness, frustration, disappointment, longing. He’s never felt closer to them then in this moment and he finally brings their intertwined hand and puts it on his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve helped a lot of people Cel,” he tries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and hurt plenty of others,” they counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zolf goes to speak in protest but he’s cut off by them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The last one...her name was, uh, it was Nessa,” they say the name with such reverence Zolf feels like he has to look away. “We met when I had already been over in Asia a while. Worked odd jobs around town. She had one of the prettiest singing voices i’d ever heard. Would always sing me awake in the morning, or if I was up working too late she’d barge in and sing me to sleep. It was nice…” they explain. Zolf looks over at them again and sees them trying to hold back tears. Their eyes are already watery. “We knew going into it we might not have long. She was old for orc standards but we did it anyway, love is crazy like that i guess. I’d already been alive for so long it didn’t matter to me. She was the best of them and she gave me a damn good three years before she just...died like people do, can’t do much about it no matter how hard you try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry-” Zolf replies almost immediately, “that’s...Cel you-” he hates how he’s tripping over his words right now but he presses on, “You’re a good person Cel. I just...think you should know that,” he finishes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel blinks in confusion as more of their face blushes at his words. They're back into that comfortable silence they started with except now they're both just leaning into each other as they feel the airship pass through the sky around them. The whistling winds just outside.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let me hug Cel please i'm BEGGING.</p><p>Thanks for reading &lt;3</p><p>Title from seven by Taylor Swift.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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